Becoming a Parent in the UK

After three years in London, I started to feel as if I understood some of London’s quirks. I had learned to carry an umbrella with me at all times, began to disregard weather forecasts, had a tube line suspended while I was a passenger, enjoyed a surprise sighting of The Queen and discovered a system to prevent foxes scattering my rubbish everywhere.  I was enjoying this new-found comfort with daily London life when I had to face a new challenge of unknowns in the UK…parenting.

When I was pregnant, everyone was incredibly helpful and had many opinions about things I should do, not do, join, not join and so on.  I knew it would be important to meet other new parents and get out of the house, but wasn’t sure where to begin.  Thankfully, every town in the UK is full of classes for babies, new parents and young children.  With everything from Mandarin playgroups, to Little Kickers football classes for babies, there are countless options available.

The most unanimously recommended first step was to join a National Childbirth Trust (NCT) antenatal class.  People kept saying, “Don’t do it for the class, do it for the people you will meet. “  Everyone (even strangers) were convinced that these fellow expectant mums would become my closest friends for at least the next three years. I have to say as an expat, some of the information in the classes was actually quite helpful and informative – learning about different approaches to childbirth and different options available in the UK was invaluable. I did however look around at the other women in the class and wonder what role they would play in my life as a mother. 

I tend to be a bit shy and guarded and though each person in the class was very nice, I just wasn’t sure how this magical bond everyone talked about was going to happen. When we met up outside of class for the first time, I told my husband I would be back in an hour or so.  He seemed sceptical.  “They’re all very nice, but…I just don’t know what we’ll really have to talk about,” I said as waddled out the door.  Much to my surprise, I returned home over four hours later.  Once left to our own devices, we talked about the ups and downs of pregnancy, confessed in those final days to Googling ‘signs of labour’ too many times and would meet up every week in smaller and smaller numbers, wondering which of us would be the last to meet our tiny sidekicks. 

Needless to say these individuals have become an integral part of my life with a baby in London.  I’m so grateful to have friends to attend Monkey Music classes with, lament the challenges of teething, introducing solids, helping babies deal with jet lag and countless other issues.  Each week, there is a new revelation that someone else’s child had a tooth that was coming through only to disappear, has all of a sudden stopped eating their favourite food or has given up a second nap.   Motherhood has been yet another way to experience and get to know London and I’m so grateful to be exploring this new frontier with other parents who are experiencing life and London in a new way, even if they have lived here for their entire lives.  

Written by Erin Northey

For more information on FOCUS, please visit www.focus-info.org